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A remarkable week in sports

POSTED August 21, 2009 9:25 p.m.
A guilty pleasure of mine is watching VH1’s “Best Week Ever.” It’s an addicting show that offers commentary from no-name comedians and minor celebrities on the week’s biggest pop culture news.
It goes something like this: A deep-voiced announcer with a very serious tone brings up the latest craze in celebrity gossip, as clever edits of remarks and opinions from people who shouldn’t be offering their remarks and opinions on big-name celebrities are made along the way.
It’s fun stuff.
I’m going to attempt to do the same here with this week’s biggest sports news — and if you were vacationing on Mars, there were some really big ones.
Plaxico Burress: I actually feel bad for this guy. He shot himself in the foot and now he’s going to serve two years of prison time. He was arrested on weapon charges. I also feel bad for the guy because by the time he gets out, he’ll be rather old. And really, who would want a guy in his mid-30s catching footballs for them, especially when he did little catching in a cell and his name isn’t Jerry Rice? The NFL says it will reinstate Burress after his prison term. Well, good luck with that.

Brett Favre: Oh, man. I can talk about this dude forever. He’s the most selfish person in sports. He had to wait until the very last moment to sign with the Minnesota Vikings, putting all the other quarterbacks who have been waiting for their turn all offseason to the backburner. I understand he was just making sure his throwing arm was healthy, but he kept everyone in the organization wondering and waiting. You don’t do that to your teammates. He’s a legend and he’ll definitely be in the Hall of Fame one day, but what else does he have to prove? Geez. He became one of the most likable guys in the NFL to the most unlikable. How did that happen? Ask Favre.

Usain Bolt: OK, now for the best news of the week. This is our real-life superhero. He broke his own world records in the 100 and 200 meters at the World Championships in Berlin this week, and he did it by several body lengths. Watch videos of him on YouTube and you’ll think it was digitally enhanced. The scary part is that he’s just 23 years old. By the time the 2012 Summer Olympics takes place in London, expect to see records fall again and again.

Michael Vick: OK, his big news happened last week, but the Michael Vick show is nonstop. He gets to play again. He gets what some people never thought could happen after the Philadelphia Eagles signed him to a two-year deal with a second-year option. He gets a second chance at a dream job after doing a very inhumane thing in operating a dogfighting ring. But here’s his turnaround dance. There’s one of two things that can happen: He can gracefully accept his role as a backup for an entire season or stumble along the way like the latest “it” girl coming out of a nightclub. Let’s hope it’s the former.
To contact Chhun Sun, e-mail csun@turlockjournal.com or call 634-9141 ext. 2041.

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